Why Seeing A Therapist Might Have Been The Best Idea I Ever Had
Every now and then you’re gonna find yourself in difficult times and very few will be able to understand and even fewer will be able to help. In those times you will feel like you’re carrying the weight of the entire world and you can’t help but simply crash, fall on your knees unable to breathe. Nothing will make sense and nothing will seem scarier. You’ll find yourself down the rabbit hole unable to see a way out. The only wish you’ll have is for everything to end and for the pain you’ve been feeling to go away. You’ll feel like giving up.
But before you give up you need to make sure that you’ve tried everything that is humanly possible to make it through whatever made you feel lost and worthless. Know that whatever you’re going through others have gone through that too and have come out as winners, know that feeling like yourself again is possible, know that you’re not alone and you shouldn’t fight your battles on your own. Some may have been born with a strength of their own but some need just a little help for after a fall to be able to stand on their feet again. Some of us have been blessed to have amazing parents who are always there when we need them, some of us are even luckier to have loyal friends who will bring you soup when you’re sick but for some of us, either one can be something we can’t really afford ’cause sometimes family and friends are the cause of why we are spiraling out of control and have no one to turn to. Every fight we carry takes a huge toll on us and leaves long lasting damage that no one can undo but nevertheless it should not make us think that everything is lost or that we have reached a point of no return.
I’ve found myself in situations that seemed unsolvable, inescapable and plain suffocating. I have tried and tried but nothing seemed to work. At every attempt I made to fix my life and be happy I found myself being sabotaged and undermined. After years of countless efforts I’ve decided to start from scratch in a new place far away from everything that hurt me and kept me away from reaching my true potential that I’ve been told about so many times ever since I was little. A change of scenery was something that I desperately needed. A new place to offer me much more than any other has ever had. That was when I realized that I had more tools at my disposal than I ever had. I could try things I never imagined I could, things that weren’t available to me before. It was a new place with new people, new mentality, new challenges, it seemed like everything has changed, a whole lot was new. I had experienced a new sense of freedom that was often astonishing and overwhelming. It felt like it was time to revisit some old chapters and make much needed changes. But deep down I knew I couldn’t do it alone and that I needed someone to offer me some guidance.
I needed someone who knew the human psychology, someone who has studied behaviors, cognitions and emotions. Someone who knew what health and well-being really looked like. I wanted to be well, I wanted a better grip on things, I wanted a little more control over my life. I wanted to feel safer. I wanted to open up myself to someone in a judgement free zone. That was when I decided that I would try seeing a therapist, I gave it a chance and I never looked back. I met one of the most amazing people ever. For the first time in a very long time I felt normal and what I was feeling at that time was completely OK. Whenever we scheduled to meet I knew that I would be able to go in there and say whatever was on my mind and receive in return nothing but acceptance. For the first couple meetings I needed to process that seeing a therapist is a normal thing and that the stigma attached to it should not be a factor in my decision to seek help. Knowing that I stood in front of someone who didn’t have a preconceived image of me was somehow comforting and reassuring that I would be looked at with nothing but understanding and acceptance. That one-on-one environment allowed me to find my own pace, allowed to breathe, allowed me to surface above the water. In the many meetings I had over the last year I was able to verbalize thoughts and ideas I couldn’t verbalize before. I was given new perspectives on things, I learned to break down patterns, I suddenly became aware on the many walls I’ve built around myself. I learned that not every thing that happened to me required an immediate reaction. I was shown that to certain events there were other healthier ways to cope.
For the first time in a long time, the way I’ve been seeing myself has dramatically changed, with a certain confidence I now can say that I value myself a whole lot more, now I know myself better than I ever used to. I’ve become stronger and more immune to external interference. I’m still that overly sensitive child but I know that I am a good person and at this very day a lot less people, if any, will make me feel bad about myself or the choices that I have made. Over time I learned to take bigger risks and be less afraid. Ever since I’ve known myself I have been a dreamer but I always was to afraid to make the first step into making those dreams come true, I preferred to stay in my comfort zone, under my own protective shell rather than take chances. If it wasn’t for that life changing decision I wouldn’t be where I am today, the place I’ve always dreamed to reach.
It changed my life and I’m better for it. I am grateful for the help I’ve gotten and I’ll know that it’s OK not to be OK sometimes and when that happens there is always gonna be someone who will be there for me to guide me back to life.